The Trip to Disneyland
by Kiiro Hitsuji
Summary: The Yugioh gang go to disneyland! Aren't I evil? Mua ha haa.Read, and you will... fall asleep, probably. Rated for swearing that might occur later on.
1. Chapter 1

**Yu-gi-oh goes to Disneyland Paris**

**Chapter 1 – Of a hyper Mokuba and a very annoyed Kaiba**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Yu-gi-oh, or Disneyland Paris.

Me: o.o my computer's making funny noises again. I probably use it too much. :(

And word won't let me do question marks! Stupid word!

Word: I'll get you.

* * *

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" 

"Shut UP, Mokuba." Kaiba said. He wasn't normally annoyed at his brother, but Mokuba was now completely hyper.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! WE'RE GOING TO DISNEYLAND PARIS!"

"Ugh." Kaiba said. Theme parks really didn't appeal to him, especially not Disney ones. Well, it could be worse. Mokuba could be obsessed with the Teletubbies. Kaiba shuddered. That would be truly awful.

"Hurry up, nisama!" Mokuba shrieked in Kaiba's ear. "Or we'll miss the plane."

"That's unlikely," Kaiba replied, wincing from the pain emanating from his eardrum. "We're VIPs, remember?"

"ooooh, does that mean we get our own compartment again?"

"We always get our own compartment, Mokuba."

Mokuba restrained himself from jumping up and down in excitement.

"You'd better go and get your suitcase if you want to get there early." Kaiba said, fiddling around on his computer.

"Okay!" Mokuba said, and dashed off to get his suitcase.

It was so quiet without Mokuba around. Hmm… maybe he'd have a moment to check his emails…. The ones that nobody except Kaiba himself were allowed to see.

Too late. Mokuba had re-entered the room.

"Can we go now, please?"

"Fine." Kaiba sighed. "Wait a moment. I just want to-"

"No! We have to go NOW! Right this second!"

"In a few minutes, Mokuba…"

"Now!"

"FINE!"

So much for delaying this damn Disneyland trip…


	2. Chapter 2

**Yu-gi-oh goes to Disneyland Paris**

**Chapter 2 – The Chapter of frantic seat-swapping**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Yu-gi-oh, or Disneyland Paris.

Haha. Poor Kaiba. I don't really think Disneyland would be his scene. Mind you, I can't imagine him at any other theme park either. Haha. Well, he's going to Disneyland, and I'm going to make him go on all the really crappy little rides! Mua ha ha!

But before I do that, there are some other characters I want to get to Disneyland…

* * *

"I'm really looking forward to going to Disneyland!" Yugi said. "And it's really great that you guys can come too!"

"Yeah." Jounouchi said, with fake enthusiasm.

"Come on, Jounouchi." Honda said. "There are supposed to be some really scary rides now."

Jounouchi made a disbelieving noise.

"Where are Ryou and Yami Bakura?" Anzu asked. "They were supposed to be here ten minutes ago."

_**In Bakura's house…**_

"I'm not going! You can't make me!" Yami Bakura shouted, hanging onto the stair rail for dear life.

Ryou rolled his eyes.

"It's only a theme park, Yami."

"But it's Disney! You know I can't stand Disney! It's horrible, especially the cute little animals! They make me want to vomit!"

"You can stand it for one week Yami, can't you?" Ryou pleaded.

"No. I can't stand it at all. Not for a day. Not for an hour. Not for one second. Not for one milli-second."

"All right, I get the idea."

Ryou sighed and reached for the phone. He dialled Yugi's number and waited.

"Hello?"

"Yugi, it's me, Ryou. There's a bit of a problem… you see, you-know-who won't come… I think I can sort him out, but could you pick us up on the way?"

"Ye-es, I think so. Is he being difficult?"

"Yes. Well, see you."

Ryou hung up and turned to face Yami Bakura.

"Look, I'm really sorry about this and I know you'll never forgive me, but I'm afraid it has to be done."

Yami Bakura looked suspicious. "What has to be done?"

"This." Ryou said, picking up an umbrella from the stand and whacking Yami Bakura over the head with it.

* * *

"Do you think he'll be okay?" Anzu asked, as they dragged Yami Bakura into the minibus.

"He'll be fine. Let's just hope he doesn't wake up for a while, or I pity the person who's sitting next to him on the plane." Ryou said.

"That would be you, wouldn't it?" Yami said.

"Er- yes."

They reached the airport in good time and boarded the plane pretty quickly. Some of the airline staff enquired after Yami Bakura, but they were forced to say he'd passed out from his aeroplane flight phobia. Ryou groaned. Two things for Yami Bakura to loathe him for…

* * *

The plane wasn't that bad, although Anzu thought her seat smelt of sick and forced a hapless Jounouchi to swap with her, claiming that she wanted to be next to the window. Of course he didn't realise her real motive until he sat on the seat.

Then a frantic seat-swapping began. Nobody wanted the sick-smelling seat. Jounouchi swapped with Yugi, Yugi swapped with Honda and Honda, because he didn't want Shizuka to have the sicky seat, tried to get Ryou to swap. Of course Ryou had smelled a rat concerning the chair and wanted to know why nobody wanted it.

"I can't sit there, anyway." He said. "I need to keep an eye on my Yami."

So Honda ended up with the sicky seat, though he began to hatch various plots that would get him out of it. One of them was when someone needed the toilet, he would steal their chair. Well, that was the only one, to be honest, because Honda wasn't that good at plot-hatching.

They chatted happily for a few minutes, until they all had a surprise. It was a tanned, blonde surprise, and it was carrying the Millennium Rod.

"Malik! What are you doing here?" Everyone said at once.

"I'm going to Paris." Malik replied, in a strange accent that sounded half french, half american and- oh, you can't have three halves. Okay. In an accent that sounded one third French, one third American and one third Scottish.

"Any particular place? Going to see the Eiffel Tower, maybe?" Yami asked, peering over Yugi's shoulder to look at Malik.

"Er." Malik said, looking embarassed.

"Don't say you're going to Disneyland Paris too!" Yugi exclaimed excitedly. "We'll have to go around together!"

Malik tried to think of a plausible exscuse for visiting Disneyland Paris. Luckily, Isis rescued him.

"Have you found our seats yet, Malik?" Isis called from somewhere along the row. "They should be here somewhere… everywhere else is full."

"You were supposed to be keeping an eye on Yami Malik." Malik said accusingly. "He could be wreaking havoc."

"He's right here."

"Okay. Well… our seats are along here… row L, numbers 20 to 23…"

"That's right behind us!" Yugi said, in a state of wild excitement.

"Wonderful." Yami said sarcastically. "Where's Rishid, Isis?"

"Oh he didn't want to come." Isis replied.

"I wonder why…" Jounouchi muttered.

Yami Malik took the seat behind Yami and gave him an evil grin.

"This seat is uncomfortable." Malik grumbled, fidgeting.

Honda smiled.

"Why don't you try my seat?" he asked, smiling happily. "I assure you it's perfectly comfortable."

"Why thank you." Malik said, and gratefully swapped seats with Honda, who couldn't seem to help looking extremely pleased with himself.

Malik narrowed his eyes. "Why are you so happy to give up your seat, Honda? What's wrong- AH! I know! It smells of sick! I hate you!"

Honda smirked.

"Swap back! Swap back! Swap back! Swap back!" Malik shrieked.

"No! No! No! No!" Honda said, quickly fastening his seatbelt.

"Grrr." Malik growled.

"What's going on?" Yami Bakura asked. Apparently, he had woken up. "Why does my head hurt?"

Ryou looked surprised, but then his expression changed to one of relief. He mouthed "Don't say anything about Disneyland!" to the others, who looked puzzled.

"We're going on holiday, Yami." He said.

"Oh. Where are we going?"

"Er… egypt."

"Oh goodee. Can I rob a tomb?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you can't."

"Damn."

"Hi Bakura!" Malik said, over-enthusiastically. "Can I swap seats with you?"

"Why?" Yami Bakura asked, suspiciously.

"Because- uh, I want to sit next to Ryou. And, er- I don't want to sit next to Jounouchi."

"Hey!" Jounouchi grumbled.

"All right." Yami Bakura said slowly.

"thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!" Malik said, bouncing out of his chair.

Yami Bakura looked thoughtful. "What's wrong with your seat?"

"Nothing." Malik said, looking only slightly shifty.

"I'm coming over to inspect it. If it doesn't meet my expectations, I'm not swapping."

Malik grinned. "All right."

As Yami Bakura came over to look at the chair, he ran to the row in front as quickly as possible and sat in Yami Bakura's seat.

"Hey!" Yami Bakura growled. "Get off, or I'll send you to the shadow realm. I don't want your seat."

"You said you'd swap!" Malik said.

Yami Bakura sat down, a murderous look on his face.

"Hello, Yami Malik. Would you like my seat?" he asked, dropping his murderous look for a strange smile.

"No."

"I shall repeat the question: Would you like to swap seats with me, or would you like a pleasant eternity in the Shadow Realm?"

"That's not fair!" Yami Malik said. "Swap with your Hikari."

"Okay. Ryou…"

"No! Sit down and stop messing about."

Yami Bakura sat down, and his look was even more evil than usual.

_Gaaah, stupid mortals. I'm going to teach them a lesson…. They'll find out what happens when nobody obeys me!_

The inside of the aeroplane started to get very dark, and the more observant could see horrible monsters slinking around in the gangways between the rows of seats, their sharp teeth gleaming.

"Stop it, Yami!" Ryou hissed.

Yami Bakura merely smirked. "Unless somebody swaps seats with me, I will sacrifice someone to the darkness every second I have to wait."

"I'll swap." Yugi said quickly. "Just make the Shadow Realm go away."

"Very well." Yami Bakura sighed. The darkness faded and the monsters disappeared.

There were a few minutes of silence.

Then-

"Does anyone want to swap seats with me?"

* * *

Who fell asleep before the end? Be honest!

Yeah, I know it was just a chapter about people swapping seats, but… the next one will be better. Hopefully.

Let's just say it might be. :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Yu-gi-oh goes to Disneyland Paris**

**Chapter 3 – The Plane Journey**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Yu-gi-oh, or Disneyland Paris.

* * *

Everything seemed quiet. The plane had started it's journey an hour or so ago, and it was expected to arrive at the Disneyland airport by the next morning.

Nothing had yet been said about Disneyland, so Yami Bakura was happily oblivious and thought that they were going to Egypt.

Yami called one of the airhostesses over to order some food. He began to speak politely, but the other Yamis barged in.

"I want a steak. As rare as you can cook it." Yami Bakura said. "And no salad."

"Er… just a rare steak then, sir? Are you sure that's all?"

"It'd better be a big one, too."

"No, don't get him a steak." Yami interrupted, knowing only too well what Yami Bakura's eating habits were like.

"I want a steak and you can't stop me, you stupid Pharaoh!" Yami Bakura raised his voice.

They began to argue loudly, attracting the attention of many of the other passengers. The poor airhostess looked very, very confused.

"I wondered how long it would be before they started fighting." Ryou sighed, indicating the two warring Yamis behind.

"Perhaps we should separate them?" Yugi suggested.

"I have an idea!" Malik said. "Look, you two. If you don't stop fighting we'll forcefully move you to the sicky seat!"

There was a short silence as they thought over this.

"If you move me to the sicky seat, I will forcefully move you to the shadow realm." Yami Bakura announced, smirking.

"Er… could you repeat your order, please?" the airhostess looked flustered. "I didn't quite catch-"

"A very rare steak and rum for me." Yami Bakura said.

"Rum for me, too!" Yami Malik added.

"I'd like sushi." Yami grumbled.

"What quantity of Rum would you like, sirs? Five, twenty, fifty or a hundred centilitres?" she asked sweetly, showing a mouth full of eerily white, straight teeth.

"Um…." Neither Yami Malik nor Yami Bakura had any idea what a centilitre was.

"A hundred, each?" Yami Malik suggested.

The airhostess smiled again and went off. Yami regarded her with amazement.

"How do you girls walk in such short skirts?" This was directed at Anzu.

"Yami! It's not polite to stare at people's behinds!" Yugi hissed.

"Oops." Yami looked sheepish.

Jounouchi and Yugi had taken out their duel decks and were playing Duel Monsters – the non-flashy way. Malik was interested and, on many occasions, gave Jounouchi tips.

"You told him what I had in my hand!" Yugi cried, outraged. "That's not fair!" He sniffled, but only a little.

Malik shrugged. "Sometime you have to get beaten, Yugi. And by hook or by crook, I'm going to make sure it happens."

"I'm sorry, Yugi! I can't help listening to what he shouts in my ear!" Jounouchi looked embarrassed, as he placed a facedown card. Yugi attempted to glare at Malik, but he found he was extremely out-of-practice at sulking and the like – Yami was the one who had done all the pouting.

Instead, he sighed. "All right. Just don't do it again, Malik."

Malik looked innocent. Or he tried to.

The airhostess appeared again, this time holding trays of food and two bottles of rum.

Yami took a serviette, put it on his lap and began to eat delicately. Yami Bakura tore into his steak like a starving hyena, grumbling about it being too well cooked, even though blood was dripping off his fork.

Yami Malik was swigging the rum straight from the bottle, and he was receiving looks from people around. Of course, he completely ignored all of them.

When the bottle was half gone, he had to stop in order to hiccup. Yami Bakura, by this point, had finished his steak and was also a lot of the way through his bottle. Yami gave them both a disgusted look (he'd only just finished his first mouthful).

"You're supposed to chew your food in order to get the taste." He informed Yami Bakura.

"I taste well enough the way I eat." Yami Bakura poked out his tongue, which had been stained red from the bloody steak.

"I shay." Yami Malik slurred. "Have you drunk all shat rum, Bakura?"

Yami Bakura forced his eyes to focus on the suddenly blurred world around him, in particular his rum bottle. He picked it up, and his hand wobbled slightly.

"I have four handsh!" he exclaimed, waving them around.

"Sho you have!" Yami Malik said, with a hiccup.

"My God!" Honda spun round. "What have they been drinking?"

Isis took Yami Malik's rum bottle (he was too busy counting Yami Bakura's arms to notice) and inspected it. "90 proof." She said, shaking her head. "They'll have a headache tomorrow."

"Aren't you supposed to drink rum in small amounts?" Yugi asked, frowning at Malik, who had stolen the bottle from Isis and was taking a sneaky sip.

"That is the idea." Jounouchi said, eyeing Yami Malik nervously.

"I shay. Where hash my rum gone?" Yami Malik looked confused. "It wash here just now…"

Malik hid it behind his back.

Unexpectedly and shockingly, Yami Bakura had just broken into song. It wasn't an appropriate song, either. Ryou looked shocked.

_Where on earth did Yami Bakura hear THAT? _Jounouchi smirked to himself. _Maybe there's more to Ryou than meets the eye…_

"Yami! Shut up!" Ryou attempted to growl.

Yami Bakura only sang louder. A few moments later, Yami Malik joined in. Yugi glared at Jounouchi, who appeared to be cheering them on.

"How do we stop them?" Anzu sounded horrified, and extremely embarrassed.

"Like this." Malik said, bashing Yami Malik over the head with the (now empty) rum bottle and then doing the same to Yami Bakura. They slumped over, and Malik looked smug.

The rest of the journey passed in relative peace (this probably had a lot to do with the fact that Yami Malik and Yami Bakura were unconscious). There was one time when Yugi got upset thinking that he'd lost his Dark Magician. Yami noticed Malik's grin, and assumed that the Egyptian had stolen it.

Malik denied it for a time, but when Isis mildly mentioned that perhaps he and Yugi should swap seats, he sulkily produced the card, saying "It was only a joke…"

Kaiba and Mokuba had a lovely journey in their exclusive cabin. Kaiba most enjoyed being waited on by the airhostesses. They were very stupid, but nice to look at. Idly he flicked through his Duel Monsters deck. Not that he was ever going to get a chance to play at Disneyland… the Europeans were probably well behind the times. He sighed. Dammit, he probably wasn't even famous there.

Mokuba insisted on watching Bambi again on the cabin's fifty-inch television. Kaiba had finally given in, once he had located the earplugs and turned one of the chairs around so he didn't have to watch it. Bambi was Kaiba's worst nightmare, and the bits he hated the most were the bits where Bambi and the others fell in love; it sent shivers down the multimillionaire's spine. Friend Owl's words reverberated inside his skull.

_It could happen to anyone… _That meant Kaiba too. Falling in love wasn't something Kaiba could imagine himself doing. Maybe if the right girl came along, one who was similarly career and computer obsessed. He smiled slightly.

"Kaiba!" Mokuba wailed. Once Kaiba reluctantly turned his chair around (flinching as he caught sight of the frozen picture on the tv screen) his smaller brother began babbling incoherently.

Kaiba realised he still had the earplugs in and hastily took them out.

"-tell me it doesn't happen! It's too awful, Kaiba!" Tears streamed down Mokuba's cheeks. "Bambi's mummy can't die!"

Kaiba bit back the strong urge to say "She can die, and she deserves it, giving birth to such a horrible little cute creature." And instead he concocted some story about her going away, so that Bambi could grow up on his own. It seemed to cheer Mokuba up.

A voice on the intercom suddenly came through, before Kaiba had the chance to don the earplugs once again.

"We will be arriving shortly. Please make sure you are ready to leave. Thank you, and we hope you enjoyed your flight."

Finally, Kaiba thought. Then he remembered where he was going. This was going to be hell….

* * *

Hehee. This will begin to get interesting... maybe. I'd appreciate lots of reviews! Constructive criticism, but no flames - they'd make me cry and only complicate my inferiority complex further.


	4. Chapter 4

**Yu-gi-oh goes to Disneyland Paris**

**Chapter 4– The Disneyland Hotel (a.k.a. Kaiba realises he has sex appeal)**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Yugioh… or Disneyland Paris.

It's quite embarrassing that I couldn't remember the French word for "Room" for AGES even though I've taken French for 3 years and I'm supposed to be doing a GCSE next year. Eheh…

* * *

The plane had landed. Yugi and Anzu were looking forward to the trip, and Yami wasn't too sure what to expect, but hoped he'd enjoy it. Jounouchi and Honda, however, repeatedly grumbled about how rubbish the entire week was going to be, though both of them were secretly longing to go.

Yami Bakura and Yami Malik were only half-awake, and had been practically dragged off the plane. Neither of them aware of what was happening, which was very fortunate in many ways.

The others led the half-drunken Yamis to the baggage collection section of the airport. Unfortunately, the complicated system of conveyer belts that transported belongings from the plane to the baggage section had broken down a few hours before, so getting their things took a lot longer than it should have done. By the time everyone had collected their belongings, most of them were in a bad mood and Jounouchi had run out of different swear words to insult the airport management with.

At last, they escaped from the crowd that had congregated around the broken conveyer belts and went outside to wait for taxis to take them to the hotel (it had turned out that they were all going to stay at the Disneyland Hotel – the one closest to the park)

As they waited outside, shivering from the "cold" temperature, something completely unexpected happened.

A black limousine with the Kaiba Corp logo emblazoned on the side slid up to the sliding doors by the airport. A dark-suited, heavily built man stepped out and went inside.

"What would Kaiba be doing in Paris?" Yami voiced the general opinion.

"Maybe he's trying to do business here." Malik shrugged.

"He's not!" Jounouchi cackled gleefully, as the bodyguard re-emerged accompanying a tired, annoyed Kaiba and Mokuba, who was waving what appeared to be a Disneyland flag. "He's going to Disneyland!"

"Don't look so gleeful, Jounouchi." Yami scolded, though he himself couldn't help a slight smirk at the thought of Kaiba at Disneyland.

Kaiba glanced around furtively, and caught sight of them. His face paled, and he practically jumped into the limousine, to Jounouchi's delight.

"You seem to have cheered up, Jounouchi!" Yugi exclaimed happily. "I knew you'd like it once you got here!"

Ordering the taxi was the next problem. Isis, Malik and Yami Malik didn't appear to have much trouble with their taxi, which set off only a short while after they had flagged it down. Yugi's group, however, were to have no such luck.

The taxi driver didn't speak any Japanese, and it took a while and much consultation from the French phrase book before they made each other understood.

Jounouchi and Honda flatly refused to even attempt a single French word, even though Anzu said that they'd regret not speaking when they couldn't communicate with all the pretty French girls. Jounouchi did look slightly disheartened at this, however.

Anzu did most of the speaking, but Yugi and Ryou helped. Yami had one go, but after seeing the taxi driver's blank expression when he tried "How much to take us to Disneyland?" he went into a major sulk and said nothing else.

Eventually, the message got through, and at long last they were travelling to Disneyland Paris. On the way, they started talking about the hotel.

"How many rooms did we ask for?" Anzu asked.

"Four." Yugi answered, squinting at his brochure. "You get your own room, and the rest of us share."

"I'm not going with Yami Bakura." Yami said instantly. Yami Bakura stirred at the sound of his name, but said nothing. He seemed to be quite absorbed in a dream.

"You can go with me, Jounouchi and Honda can go together and Ryou and Yami Bakura can go together." Yugi said. "Simple."

"Finally." Jounouchi grumbled as they stopped outside the hotel. "I need sleep."

"Bonjour, monsieurs. Et mademoiselle." A porter in a strange (probably Disney-related) costume nodded to them.

"Bonjour." Anzu replied, and explained that they had ordered rooms.

"De quelle nationalité etes-tu?" The man enquired.

"Uh… Nous sommes… er… Japanese?" Anzu ventured.

"Ah! Japanese. I speak a little." The man beamed.

"Oh, good." Anzu sighed with relief.

The guy escorted them to reception. Yugi seemed to be the only one who noticed, but the guy was blatantly eyeing Anzu's chest. Why didn't she realise? She never had any trouble objecting when Jounouchi did it…

Now he was chatting her up, as well. From what Yugi could hear, he was fluent in four languages, practically fluent in two others, spent his spare time playing the cello in professional concerts and also did some part-time work somewhere posh.

Yugi was just beginning to get jealous when suddenly a thought struck him:

_If this guy is so talented, what's he doing working at Disneyland Paris?_

He felt happy again, convinced that the guy was a fraud, though just a little annoyed that Anzu hadn't found this out yet.

"Your rooms are on the fifth floor." The guy said, flashing them a brilliant smile. "Here are your keys. Would you like me to take you there?"

"No, we'll be fine, thanks." Yugi said, taking the keys.

"Yugi! That wasn't very polite!" Anzu hissed once they were out of earshot. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, Anzu. I'm just tired, that's all." Yugi said meekly. "Hey, Bakura, do you need some help?"

Ryou was still dragging Yami Bakura around, as well as all the Bakurae's luggage.

"If you could just take one or two bags…" he said, depositing some at Yugi's feet with a thankful smile. "Maybe we should take the lift…"

Kaiba was beginning to wonder if his translator was cheating him. The man had managed to get the celebrity suite for them, but the room seemed extremely expensive… Five thousand euros for a night? That seemed extortionate, even for the most expensive suite, meals in their own private section of the restaurant, and their own lounge, personal swimming pool and spa.

Ah well. Mokuba seemed to be happy, and Kaiba could always sue the man when he got back to Japan. Honestly, honest slaves- er, assistants – were so hard to find theses days.

"Hey nisama!" Mokuba called from the games room. "The television won't let me play Bambi!"

Kaiba gave a long-suffering sigh. Was it really worth his while to tear himself away from his laptop?

"Wait a moment." He shouted back, grumpily, clicking into his email inbox.

Seven new messages… five from Kaiba Corp, reporting on the current affairs of the company. He'd look at them later.

One was blackmail from one of his former employees, stating that unless Kaiba paid them they would reveal his private and personal details. Kaiba sighed again and deleted it. Human employees were so irritating, always wanting pay rises and bleating about starving children and the like. Kaiba couldn't wait until robots capable of doing a wide range of menial tasks were invented; it would make his life a lot easier.

The last was from someone Kaiba didn't know, so he opened it out of interest, checking that all his firewalls and antivirus software was running before he did so.

Frowning, he checked the email address, his eyes widening slowly as he did so. on earth could that mean? Kaiba wondered. He didn't have a lover; he hadn't even had a girlfriend. In fact, Kaiba realised that he'd never looked at girls in that kind of way.

Yet here was an email from what appeared to be one of many "Kaiba's lovers". How odd.

There was a popup from somewhere. Kaiba looked at it.

This email has been blocked because it contains explicit content. Do you want to continue blocking this email?

Intrigued, Kaiba clicked "no". Just to see what it was.

He read the email, getting more and more surprised with each paragraph.

Dear Kaiby (Do you mind if I call you Kaiby? Well, I don't think you would. You don't in my dreams anyway)

_I managed to get your email from someone (I'm not telling you who, they asked me not to) but if it's really you, the money I paid to get it was really worth it!_

I just wanted to say, I am your #1 fan! I love you soooo much, and I spend all of my time thinking about you. I have posters of you on my walls, and I learnt how to play Duel Monsters because you do it, and it must be cool. My friends will be so jealous when they find out that I know your email and they don't! 

I know that you don't know who I am, but I know everything about you! Well, I'm called Sally, I'm fourteen, and I live on number 25, x road, in Domino City. If you want to visit me you're welcome! I'll be expecting you. ;D

_We could do anything you like, because you know I'd do anything for you. We could…_

Kaiba read on, completely stunned. This girl was fourteen. Fourteen. Yet her… sexual knowledge was far beyond his; most of the time, he had no idea what she was going on about. Yet, this was creepy. How could thousands of fangirls been tracing his every move without him knowing it? One could be in this room… waiting to pounce…

"KAIBA!"

Kaiba jumped, and span round, terrified.

Mokuba looked annoyed. "You still haven't come. I've been waiting for ages."

He peered with interest at Kaiba's computer screen. "What's that?"

With movements quicker than the speed of light, Kaiba closed the email. "It's nothing for you to see. I'm coming now."

He fixed the television in a daze, still unable to believe that he had _fans_. Girls who thought he was the sexiest thing on the planet.

Hey, it was disturbing, but at the same time… elating as well.

* * *

Hmm... should Kaiba go on some fansites next chapter? That would traumatise him, poor thing, wouldn't it? ;D

Hehe. Reviews, please!


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